grumpy today
Tuesday was my 36th birthday. It was a dream day: we got to tell our parents we are pregnant! By Tuesday, I'd told my girlfriend posse. One of them had told her parents, who are also good friends of ours. I'd told my oldest friend, who had been staying with us for the weekend. All this telling meant I arrived home to three bouquets of flowers, ostensibly birthday flowers, but I suspect the blastocyte had something to do with it.
After we told the parents, we went to our local dessert splurge place, bought three different slices of designer birthday cake, ate three bites of each, and tossed the rest (eating for two means something different for me--that I can't indulge). It was a wonderful, wonderful birthday.
Yesterday and today, the fun wore off. I am worn out with doctor's appointments, especially within the freakin' HMO. I had a specialist appointment yesterday (where the doctor and nurse ended up having a fight in front of me because they couldn't agree on how to treat my chronic medical condition--after telling me in my first appointment a few weeks ago that they were going to "learn along with me," since I'm the first pregnant patient they've had with this condition), and my OB appointment today, where the doctor literally greeted me with--nope, not "congratulations--but "Hmm, 36 years old. You have a 1 in 200 chance of a Down's Syndrome baby."
Now, I know that the HMO needs to cover its big bureaucratic ass. I know they need to advise me of the risks. But, because of my chronic medical condition, I've researched the risks (and, oddly enough, I had a very specific conversation with the same OB back in February about the risks). But I'm telling you, if they don't stop talking to me about birth defects at every fucking appointment, I'm going to go postal.
Please don't write me comments saying this level of frustration isn't good for the baby. I also can't take one more person telling me what I ABSOLUTELY MUST do to ensure this baby is healthy or happy.
I'm a smart woman. I'm not a risk-taker by nature. But I'll be damned if I've ever tolerated anyone telling me what to do. And I just want--need--to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. It will probably be my only pregnancy. I'm somewhat change-averse, and this has been a big change. I like my privacy, and despite my decision not to tell my officemates, I discovered today that all but one of them knows (it's hard to hide twenty-five doctor's appointments in three weeks).
After we told the parents, we went to our local dessert splurge place, bought three different slices of designer birthday cake, ate three bites of each, and tossed the rest (eating for two means something different for me--that I can't indulge). It was a wonderful, wonderful birthday.
Yesterday and today, the fun wore off. I am worn out with doctor's appointments, especially within the freakin' HMO. I had a specialist appointment yesterday (where the doctor and nurse ended up having a fight in front of me because they couldn't agree on how to treat my chronic medical condition--after telling me in my first appointment a few weeks ago that they were going to "learn along with me," since I'm the first pregnant patient they've had with this condition), and my OB appointment today, where the doctor literally greeted me with--nope, not "congratulations--but "Hmm, 36 years old. You have a 1 in 200 chance of a Down's Syndrome baby."
Now, I know that the HMO needs to cover its big bureaucratic ass. I know they need to advise me of the risks. But, because of my chronic medical condition, I've researched the risks (and, oddly enough, I had a very specific conversation with the same OB back in February about the risks). But I'm telling you, if they don't stop talking to me about birth defects at every fucking appointment, I'm going to go postal.
Please don't write me comments saying this level of frustration isn't good for the baby. I also can't take one more person telling me what I ABSOLUTELY MUST do to ensure this baby is healthy or happy.
I'm a smart woman. I'm not a risk-taker by nature. But I'll be damned if I've ever tolerated anyone telling me what to do. And I just want--need--to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. It will probably be my only pregnancy. I'm somewhat change-averse, and this has been a big change. I like my privacy, and despite my decision not to tell my officemates, I discovered today that all but one of them knows (it's hard to hide twenty-five doctor's appointments in three weeks).
posted by nann at 5:33 PM
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